I feel like it’s Doom 3 all over again – which is to say, by the time it finally came out I realized that 3 years prior I’d already played the game I’d hoped for as a follow-up to Doom 2, and it was called Serious Sam. If I wanted a realistic-looking FPS with what may be demons or possibly aliens, I’d just go play any of the ten other realistic-looking FPS with what may be demons or possibly aliens that came out last week. If they took all of this graphic prowess and the capabilities of modern PCs and made an absolutely ridiculous throwback to shooters of the early 90s, except instead of 2D sprites in a 3D environment rendered in wondrous 320×200, it would be a glorious hyper-stylized, over-the-top, nonsense shoot-em-up, with big winding levels, and keys hidden on opposite sides of the map so you can get irritated at the enemies that respawn right behind you all the friggin’ time, and giant floating beholders uh I mean cacodemons, and we’re fighting the devil or demons from an alternate dimension something something plot doesn’t matter on mars with a rapid fire rocket launcher and a damn shotgun that turns those imps into pudding when you hit them at the right time and makes a satisfying “WHUMP” come out of your speakers. You know what would be more interesting, to me, than another dark, gritty, striving to be realistic Doom game?
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